🌟 Suzan and Sandy’s Story: Gracefully Growing Old Together 🌟

Still in the Saddle: Suzan & Sandy’s Evolving Bond

These are Suzan's words—unedited and straight from her heart. Every journey is unique, and with permission, my friend, student, and a Miles Made Elevate member share a piece of her world with us. We’re honored to witness her horsemanship and the lessons she's learned along the way.

I’m so proud of Suzan and Sandy. Watching their transformation unfold—with growing confidence and clarity—has been a beautiful journey, and I’m honored to play a part in helping Suzan discover a new way to truly understand and connect with her horse.

Life is constantly changing but change is often scary. I recently read a quote in a book by Joan

Chittister; “to live is to change and to be perfect is to have changed often”. Joan Chittister is

one of the church’s key visionary and spiritual leaders who gives me hope amongst a chaotic

world. However, change challenges us to meet our fears face to face. It is a risk and it is raw.

It leaves us vulnerable but it can also reveal some of our greatest abilities, possibilities, hopes

and dreams.

Growing up in a rural part of northern New Jersey was where my horse dreams began. I was

the oldest of five children. We were always outside running and frolicking in the nearby woods

and ponds. Our childhood was simple but beautiful because we were surrounded by nature and

animals.

Horses grazed on fields throughout the township that we lived in and frequently I would ask my

mom if I could have my own pony. My mom’s answer was always the same; “we don’t have

the property for a horse and we don’t have the money. Horses are expensive.” In fourth grade I

read; “Misty of Chincoteague” and my dream of owning a pony became an obsession. I took a

job as a papergirl and started to sell handmade candles. All of my hard earned money went into

a “pony jar”.

As the years passed and I entered middle and high school I found my horse dreams shattered

when my best friend’s dad bought her a horse and built her a stable in her backyard and my

sister was given a pony from her best friend which included boarding. At first my jealousy and

anger turned me away from horses but the love of this majestic animal was stronger than my

other emotions. I was obsessed...

It was at this time that Jay came into my life. He was a 16.1 chestnut thoroughbred that was

rescued from a fire and lived a few miles away. The family that inherited him did not have any

desire to care for him or ride. They were simply meeting his basic needs. My parents strongly

told me that this was on me...I would need to ride my bike to and from the farm and I couldn’t

ask for any extra money. Little did they know that this horse was setting me free! I yearned for

the freedom and the thrill that came when we were cantering through the fields. I thrived on the

relationship that we were building and the trust we had in each other. I lived for our time

together...high school quickly ended and so did my partnership with Jay. It was devastating but

I was going away to college and he was technically not my horse. Upon my return I learned that

he had a new home. I pray and hope it was a safe home with someone that loved him like I did

During the early years of raising our three children I often drifted back to my childhood horse

dreams which eventually led to many seasons embracing the beauty of the Chincoteague

ponies. During these early years my daughter; Sarah, also dreamed of having her own pony.

Our prayers were answered in 2003 when we took a leap of faith and purchased a Donald

Leonard Chincoteague mare. We named her Sandy Lace. My husband challenged me; “you

have one week to find Sandy a home in NJ.” I nodded and said “done”. At six months Donald

Leonard transported Sandy to her first home where she would live for two years with miniature

ponies. We quickly recognized that she needed to learn to be a “big pony" and “we” needed

training.

We found Heidi and for 12 years Sarah and I learned traditional horsemanship. During these

years Sandy lived at Goldenfields; a rough board farm that enabled me to “get my hands dirty”

but unfortunately my busy schedule prohibited me from building a partnership (Christine and

Nancy have opened my eyes and heart to this new relationship). Every time I went out to spend

time or ride I had a “challenge”. Sarah thought I was afraid...maybe I was. I do know now that I

“didn’t know”. I just felt “disconnected”. My safest and best riding was when Heidi came to the

farm for our weekly or bi-weekly lessons. Truly I only felt safe when she was present so I rode

less and spent less time at the farm.

In 2017 I moved Sandy to Gallop On with Claudia. Claudia made it apparent that I could not

bring another trainer with me so I made the transition and started riding under Claudia. At this

time I was the Executive Director of Northern Ocean Habitat for Humanity and our children were

older. My time was still limited however I was determined to “commit”. Claudia’s farm was

different...the riders were serious horsewomen and many were showing in dressage, jump and

eventing. I was the only “older woman” and I was riding western. I started taking lessons and

soon recognized that I was quite a good rider. Claudia continued to push me forward and soon I

was riding western dressage. The problem was that I was safe in the dressage ring and/or the

indoor with Claudia present but I didn’t feel safe “outside” of my “comfort zone” (I had not yet

learned Sandy’s language). As a young, strong athlete, Sarah persevered and continued to ride

with confidence yet I rode quietly with hidden fear. However during these early years, Sarah and

I had “challenges” with Sandy and the answer from our trainers was simply “she’s stubborn”. I

now know that wasn’t the whole story that she was communicating to us...she was afraid.

Covid hit and life quickly changed. I furloughed for the first time ever and was forced to go on

unemployment. Life was spiraling and no one had their hands on the steering wheel. I didn’t

know what to do with myself. I had never been “home” without “work” and my unemployment

wasn’t paying the bills. Fortunately Claudia gave me the opportunity to “work the farm” in

exchange for board. This “hands on” experience and time at the barn has proven to be

priceless. I started to become more aware of Sandy’s behavioral language and yearned to learn

more.

In 2022 we made the “big move”! We sold our 22 year home and semi-retired to Chincoteague

VA. My biggest fear was finding Sandy a new home and transporting her. Fortunately I found a

professional transporter and Queen Hive Farm. I will never know how Sandy really felt entering

that trailer with a stranger, leaving her “sorority sisters” and driving for six hours alone in that

stock trailer but I think I know “now that she was probably telling us something about her fears.

Sandy’s and my life changed on April 1st 2023 when Nancy invited us to become farm partners

with Chinco and Bailey (and the cats and chickens). It was a dream come true... Unfortunately

the first chapter of our new story was quite different from my expectations. Sandy refused to

load into Nancy’s trailer. After many hours of soft loading attempts the farm management team

got tired of waiting and resorted to hitting her with a broom. It was horrific and terrifying for

Sandy, Nancy and me.

Months went by as Sandy and I settled into a peaceful life at Island Grove Farm. I continued to

train Sandy as I had been traditionally taught for the past 19 years. We rode, lunged and took

quiet walks (on the ground). However, we continued to “fear” the scary monsters behind the

trees and the “metal jungle”.

The BIG change came when I decided that I wanted to ride at the beach with Nancy. On

Nancy’s recommendation we first took Sandy over to the beach and introduced her to all the

scary things while ground walking. She seemed “grounded” with this new place and space.

Based on my traditional training I was ready to get into the saddle and ride. I now know that I had

no idea of what was happening in Sandy’s brain because I had no idea of “how” to read my

horse’s language.

The first few times that we loaded Sandy seemed OK. We got to the beach and enjoyed what

seemed like a delightful ride. What I didn’t know then was that every time we tried to load her

the anxiety and fear was “doubling and tripling” in her brain until the day that Sandy refused to

enter the trailer. She had shut down due to fear. Dusk was quickly approaching and we were

exhausted after many hours of “trying”. I was without a solution, extremely deflated and like

Sandy; afraid. I will be forever grateful to Nancy when she turned to me and indicated that the

only remaining humane solution was to start walking our ponies on the six mile trek from

Assateague National Seashore to Nancy’s farm on Chincoteague Island.

This was truly the turning point and the ah-ha moment! Sandy was telling me (communicating in

her language) that she didn’t feel safe. She had reached her threshold. I had two choices; stay

where I was or be willing to learn a “new and different approach” to horsemanship. This was the

“pivotal point” where I found myself yearning for a deeper connection with Sandy; something

that would help me go deeper into my soul and expand my horsemanship.

Our new chapter of our story began 18 months ago when Sandy and I started working with

Christine Nibblett and natural horsemanship. Christine clearly emphasizes that safety starts on

the ground and transfers to the saddle. In order to be safe, a horse needs a leader who can

understand horse language. It’s a partnership and a partnership is built on trust. Through this

process, I am learning to read her language and to listen better but I am also learning more

about myself. I need to be more patient and less concerned about timelines and goal setting. I

need to embrace the fact that like me she has emotions and feelings. I can’t expect that every

training session will result in meeting my expectations...I need to be forgiving but also to seek

forgiveness when I mess up which I’m doing a lot of at this point in my journey. I need to always

remember that her immediate instinct is fright which automatically leads to flight therefore I need

to identify her thresholds and honor her (and me) and where we are in the process. Slower and

softer is better than faster and harder. She will trust me as her leader only if I reciprocate the

trust. So the next chapter of “our story” begins at 65 and 21. We are destined to do great things

now that we have found Christine Nibblett and Unpuzzled Horsemanship! Yippee!!!!!

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