When Fear Holds You Back… But Doesn’t Have To

Unbridled Insights: Understanding Confidence & Progression

Fear is one of the most common struggles I hear from horsewomen. Whether it’s fear of getting hurt, falling, or simply not knowing what to do next, it’s a very real challenge. And too often, the advice they receive is to just push through it—make the horse do what they’re asking and hope for the best. But this approach doesn’t work for everyone, nor should it.

Fear isn’t just something to be ignored—it’s information. When a rider feels nervous, it often means they recognize a gap in their skill set or understand that a situation is beyond their current ability. That’s not weakness; that’s awareness.

Unfortunately, too many horsewomen are told to simply live in the chaos, expecting things to improve with time. But confidence isn’t built by enduring fear—it’s built by making progress in a way that is safe for both horse and rider.

Steps to Build Confidence

1. Recognize Your Fear as a Guide

Fear isn’t something to be ashamed of; it’s an indicator that something needs to change. Instead of ignoring it, ask yourself: What is this fear telling me? Are you unsure about your horse’s reactions? Do you lack a clear plan? Identifying the root cause allows you to take productive action.

2. Assess Both You and Your Horse

Every partnership is different. Your horse’s emotional state, training level, and past experiences all play a role in how they react. Likewise, your own skills, past experiences, and mindset influence your confidence. Take time to evaluate where you both stand before pushing forward.

3. Use Groundwork as a Tool

Groundwork provides a safe way to evaluate and influence your horse’s confidence before getting in the saddle.

It allows you to:

✅ Assess your horse’s emotional state before riding
✅ Build trust and communication without the risk of falling
✅ Develop skills in a low-pressure environment
✅ Gain confidence in handling situations from the ground before addressing them in the saddle

4. Work Within Your Skill Set

Pushing beyond what you can handle doesn’t build confidence—it creates more fear. Instead, focus on strengthening your foundation. Work on skills that feel challenging but achievable. Ask yourself: What can I do well? What needs improvement? Then, build from there.

5. Know When to Get Help

There’s no shame in seeking guidance. A knowledgeable trainer can help bridge the gap between fear and progress. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, consider asking: What kind of support would help me move forward? Whether it’s one-on-one coaching, structured exercises, or a supportive community, finding the right help makes all the difference.

Understanding Where Fear Comes From

Before we can address confidence, we need to look at where fear is coming from:

• Lack of experience – Not knowing what to do in a situation can lead to hesitation and anxiety.

• Previous bad experiences – A fall, a bolt, a buck—if something went wrong before, it’s natural to be wary.

• An overwhelmed horse – If the horse is anxious or reactive, the rider will often mirror that emotion.

• Pressure from others – Being told to “just get over it” without a proper plan can make the situation worse.

Progressing at the Right Pace

Every horse and rider pair is different. Even the same horse and rider team can have good days and bad days. That’s why a one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work. Some trainers push through problems with speed and pressure, but for many horsewomen, that approach leads to more fear, more resistance, and even potential injury.

Instead of rushing, focus on:

✔️ How to assess your horse’s state of mind
✔️ Work on step-by-step strategies for working through fear
✔️ Encouraging a thoughtful practical approach that prioritizes safety
✔️ Recognize when to ask for help

The Right Kind of Challenge Builds Confidence

Progression happens when we challenge ourselves and our horses, but the challenge must be attainable. If a rider or horse is constantly pushed beyond their ability, fear deepens. If they’re guided through manageable steps, confidence grows.

Real Confidence Comes From:

🎯 Practicing skills until they feel second nature
🎯 Breaking challenges down into smaller, achievable goals
🎯 Creating positive experiences that build trust
🎯 Knowing when to pause, reassess, and adjust the approach

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

If you’ve ever felt fear with your horse, you’re not alone. Every rider—myself included—has moments of doubt. The key is to work through them in a way that strengthens your relationship with your horse instead of breaking it down.

Did You Know? 🐴

I offer four membership options inside Miles Made Membership, each designed to meet you where you are in your horsemanship journey! Whether you're looking for a supportive community, structured guidance, or advanced coaching, there's a place for you.

If you’re ready to build confidence, gain clarity, and make real progress, I invite you to check out the options and find the one that’s the best fit for you!

🐎 Explore your options here: Miles Made Membership Options