When the horse teaches us the lesson.
They say experience is the best teacher—and sometimes, it's the most humbling one too. Over the last eight months, life has shifted in big ways for me. My world, while still filled with horses, students, training, coaching and horsemanship, has taken on a new rhythm—one that includes caring for aging parents, navigating their accidents and recoveries, and building a podcast and a meaningful online membership for horsewomen like you. Let’s just say, my boots have been in the mud, literally and figuratively.
My mom and stepdad moved close by, and in a whirlwind of transition, we’ve faced some challenges. My stepdad broke his neck and ribs in a fall; my mom shattered her femur in January and has been in a long rehab journey. While caring for them, and doing life in general, personally and professionally, I also dove headfirst into creating a podcast and building an online space for women to find community in their horsemanship journey. That space—a dream rooted in heart and experience—has come with more tech challenges, long hours, and emotional hurdles than I ever expected. There have been tears. There’s been frustration. And more than once, I’ve wanted to quit. But the why behind it kept me going.
In choosing to build that space, I gave my horses some time off. It was intentional. I needed the bandwidth to build something that would serve others. But now that the dust is settling, I’m realizing that choice came with its own set of consequences—specifically, for my young gelding, Cruz.
Cruz is five—interactive, perceptive, and capable of doing some pretty amazing things with quiet confidence when he feels grounded and secure. He’s the type that can trot over tarps, drag them behind him, and be ground-driven through utter chaos—including the time the forest service was cutting trees from a helicopter with massive chainsaws right near our camp while we were schooling. He works calmly and consistently with a flapping flag all around him at any gait and more recently 65+ mile per hour wind gusts hitting the Coverall indoor arena without so much as a blink.
But even with all that composure, Cruz is still deeply sensitive—especially when it comes to people. New faces put him on alert. He reminds me of a cat: observant, particular, and just a little wary until he decides the energy is safe. It’s one of the many contrasts that makes him both fascinating and incredibly honest in his feedback
So, when it was time for the vet to come—someone he doesn’t know well—it was a wake-up call. My intention was to work with him prior to our appointment. That didn't go as planned. What I was left with was allowing him time in the space where my vet was working on other horses. I gave him space to get comfortable. But I hadn’t done the real work. I hadn’t mentally prepared him in the days or even hours leading up. I hadn’t spent that time helping him feel grounded. And Cruz, in his classic quiet-brace way, told me loud and clear.
As the vet approached, Cruz reached his nose out and gently touched her extended hand. It was a good start, a sign of curiosity and willingness. But as she moved around to his left side to continue her approach, I saw it—the subtle, yet unmistakable brace in his body. His muscles tightened, and his posture changed, though his feet stayed firmly planted. To the untrained eye, that might seem like a sign of calm or even compliance. But knowing Cruz the way I do, I could see the truth: he was holding it together, but just barely.
Cruz is the type of horse who doesn’t always express discomfort in big, obvious ways. He internalizes, and his tension shows up in small shifts—tight muscles, twitching skin, a slightly raised head. One of his biggest "tells" is when his skin starts to flinch, almost like a ripple beneath the surface. He may not be moving, but inside, his system is on high alert.
To me, procedures like vaccinations fall under the category of "normal life stuff." They may not happen daily, but they’re consistent enough in our horses’ lives that I want them to feel grounded and secure during those moments. The bigger picture here isn’t just about the vet visit or the needles—it’s about new people entering Cruz’s world. People he doesn’t see often. And when it comes to Cruz, mental stimulation and preparation aren’t optional—they’re essential.
This little gelding is brilliantly aware, perceptive, and a thinker. He doesn’t need to be run into the ground to feel settled. What he needs is thoughtful engagement—activities that work his brain just enough to bring him into a calmer, more focused space. That didn’t happen this time, and I saw it in how he reacted.
Thankfully, my vet understands this process deeply. She’s not only a skilled professional, but also someone I’ve coached with her own young horse, so we share a common language and philosophy. She didn’t rush. She didn’t force. We worked together—patiently, quietly—as a team. His "feet still" brace led to him moving his feet backward when the pressure was too much to just stand. We gave Cruz the space to move, to settle, to find his comfort. He backed down the barn aisle, circled back down the aisle into the open walkthrough wash stall, and eventually, with time and consistency, stopped his feet and softened.
That small shift—his decision to stop and release the brace—was our green light. Not because we made him, but because we stayed with him. And that’s the kind of preparation I aim for: not just readiness for the task, but emotional grounding for the experience.
We can’t prepare our horses for every unexpected situation, but we can prepare them for the things we do see coming. I didn’t do that for Cruz this time—and that’s on me. One of the things I often tell my students is: How our horse ends emotionally with what we're asking of them physically is what they remember. If they end a task with anxiety, fear, or uncertainty, that’s what sticks. That’s what they carry into the next experience.
That’s why preparation matters. Not just to check a box, but to give our horses the chance to feel safe in a world that doesn’t always make sense to them.
And while I can’t go back and change that moment, I can reflect, learn, and adjust moving forward. That’s the beauty of this work—we grow right alongside our horses. With that in mind, I want to leave you with three takeaways from this experience—lessons I’m holding close and hope you will, too.
Prepare with Intention, Not Assumption
Don’t underestimate the power of thoughtful preparation. Even the “simple” things—like vet visits or handling by new people—can affect your horse’s emotional state. Set them up for success by preparing their mind, not just their body.Surround Your Horse with the Right Energy
Anyone who interacts with your horse—whether it's a vet, farrier, or friend—should be aligned with your philosophy. Patience, awareness, and a willingness to work with your horse are non-negotiables for building lasting trust.Progress Over Perfection (Always)
You’re not alone. We all make missteps—even as teachers. What matters is how we respond. Learn the lesson, make the adjustment, and move forward without shame. This journey is about growth, not getting it perfect every time.
So, if you’re feeling behind, if you’re juggling life and trying to show up for your horse but know you’ve fallen short—I see you. I am you. This isn't about perfection. It’s about awareness, reflection, and doing better next time.
And I will. I already have
happy horsing!
Christine Nibblett
Safe Horses are Miles Made
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone
If you’ve ever felt fear with your horse, you’re not alone. Every rider—myself included—has moments of doubt. The key is to work through them in a way that strengthens your relationship with your horse instead of breaking it down.
Did You Know? 🐴
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If you’re ready to build confidence, gain clarity, and make real progress, I invite you to check out the options and find the one that’s the best fit for you!
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